An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)


New York tenants turn on the heat

Minnesotans plant gardens


Californians shiver uncontrollably

Minnesotans sunbathe


Italian cars don't start


Distilled water freezes


You can see your breath

You plan a vacation in Florida

Politicians begin to worry about the homeless

Minnesotans eat ice cream


Boston water freezes

Californians weep pitiably

Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you


Cleveland water freezes

San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA

Minnesota Vikings fans put on T-shirts----YEAH!!!


You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!

Minnesotans go swimming


Politicians begin to talk about the homeless

Too cold to snow

You need jumper cables to get the car going


New York landlords turn on the heat


You can hear your breath

You plan a vacation in Hawaii


American cars don't start

Too cold to skate


You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo

Miamians cease to exist

Minnesotans lick flagpoles


Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you

Politicians actually do something about the homeless

People in Minnesota think about taking down screens


Too cold to kiss

You need jumper cables to get the driver going

Japanese cars don't start

Minnesota Twins head for spring training


You plan a two-week hot bath

Minnesotans shovel snow off roof


Mercury freezes

Too cold to think

Minnesotans button top button


Californians disappear

Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you

Minnesotans put on sweaters


Congressional hot air freezes

Alaskans close the bathroom window

Two Harbors Minnesota Agates practice indoors


Walruses abandon Aleutians

Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens

Boy Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby


Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets

Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI

Lackore Boys start to complain while working on snowmobiles


Polar bears abandon Baffin Island

Girl Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby


Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles

Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer


Santa Claus abandons North Pole

Minnesotans pull down earflaps


Ethyl alcohol freezes

The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes



Lackore Boys quit working on snowmobiles.


Helium becomes a liquid


Hell freezes over


Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90


Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460  (Absolute Zero)

All atomic motion ceases

The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed

Minnesotans alert us as to how it's getting a mite nippy